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This period represents a ten-year milestone since the word “vanishing” entered the common lexicon. Back then, the concept that someone could instantly end contact with a partner without any notice seemed like the peak of disrespect. How naive we were. In the decade since, navigating toward a significant other has only become more perplexing – an frequently fruitless exercise in awkwardness that is increasingly pigeonholed by online slang.

Zoomers, a cohort who came of age during a social isolation crisis, a masculinity crisis, and a widespread attack on the freedoms of women and the LGBTQ+ community, faces a significantly more chaotic environment than their Gen Y forerunners could ever envision. And so their romantic glossary has grown more elaborate and more bizarre, with phrases like “Ogre-ing” and “vine swinging” straining the limits of your sanity.

What follows is a extensive breakdown to the words this generation is using to talk about love, intimacy and the quest of both. To echo one of the year’s most viral memes, by the conclusion of this list you’ll long to get back to simpler times – because where that is, it doesn’t have “wokefishing”.

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The Letter A

Genuineness – For gen Z, romance's ultimate goal is showing up as your true, unfiltered self. You'll need it with that!

The Letter B

Feathered friend test – A online phenomenon loosely based on a test developed by couples researchers, in which you point out something insignificant – for example, “I saw a bird today” – and note whether your date's reply is engaged or brushed off. If they do not want to hear more about the bird, you two are not compatible.

Black cat girlfriend – Gen Z’s response to the “quirky fantasy girl” stereotype of the early 2000s – but instead of having baby bangs, liking The Smiths and avoiding commitment, the black cat girlfriend focuses on her own needs while oozing enigma and self-sufficiency. (She might still have baby bangs.)

C

Seat theory – This means choosing someone who helps you proactively. If you walked into a room, they would pull up a chair for you to sit down.

Errand romance – A date where two people form a link while handling tasks, such as walking the dog or food shopping. In other words, how broke people in their 20s do low-cost romance in a post-cheap-date world.

Melting down – Having a breakdown when you feel burdened by life. You can lose it over a crush or split, dumping all of your unreciprocated feelings.

The Letter D

Dink – Dual income no kids. Once a marker of 1980s yuppie excess, it describes couples who choose against having children to focus on their own happiness. Or because they cannot afford to become parents.

The Letter E

Open communication – The opposite of playing it cool: embracing dialogue, transparency and openness.

The Letter F

Signals

• Warning signs – Behavioral quirks indicating a prospective partner is not right. Examples include calling their former partners crazy, subpar tipping habits, a love of controversial director films, a nascent DJ career …
• Good indicators – These actions affirm your decision to date a partner. Such as following up to make sure you got home safely after a date, minimal screen time, owning a proper bed …
• Neutral quirks – These typically describe specific, largely harmless quirks. Examples include being an enthusiastic birdwatcher, still carrying around a pen in their bag, paying rent in cash …

Niche bonding – When you connect with someone who’s just as passionate about documentaries about the WWII or physical media hoarding or art or anything it may be, as you. Or, on the flip side, meeting someone who despises the same stuff or individuals that you do (nothing builds intimacy faster than sharing a common enemy).

The Letter G

The band Geese – A band your gen Z boyfriend is into.

Zombie-ing – Someone who pops back into your life after a period of ghosting.

Eager-to-please partner – Someone who is affable, accommodating and devoted. The rare boyfriend who is adored by all of his significant other's friends, and a mysterious partner's counterpart.

Gooners – A mostly online subculture of men so preoccupied with self-pleasure that they attempt extended sessions, deliberately delaying orgasm so they can persist as long as possible.

H

Heterofatalism – A phenomenon describing many women's increasing cynicism toward straight relationships. It will come as no surprise to anyone who read the previous entry.

Traditional ideal woman – An archetype touted by online male influencer figures: a woman who is attractive, nurturing and contentedly home-oriented, who seemingly has no ambitions of her own other than pleasing her man partner. Maybe now you’re beginning to see the whole “pessimism” thing better?

The Letter I

Turn-offs – Arbitrary and often mundane dealbreakers that immediately extinguish any sense of desire.

“If he wanted to, he would" – Something to keep in mind after you watch someone else get an extremely romantic gesture.

J

Professions – These have not been this crucial in the romance landscape since the Wall Street era. For some women, a “banker” is the ultimate catch: a fleece-vest-wearing, conservative-leaning guy who will provide (there’s a popular TikTok audio on the topic). Meanwhile the left-leaning crowd prefer partners in professions they believe are being staffed by the more caring among us: healthcare workers, teachers or counselors.

The Letter K

Kissing – This year, researchers learned that the kiss has existed for 16 million years. But the era of kissing may be limited since some gen Z desire fewer intimate scenes in film, as they are having reduced intimacy themselves and do not find onscreen intimacy realistic.

Kittenfishing – Mild deception. Or, not exactly being dishonest about who you are, but maybe using older (better) photos of yourself on a dating app profile, or making your job sound more impressive than it is. Also known as {